so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
