cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
