yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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