I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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