did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
