So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
