so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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