His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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