Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
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