her vagine was all disorganized.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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