69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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