I hope mine doesn't look like that
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
