If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
