Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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