did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
