I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
