The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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