windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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