O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
