"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
