You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
