I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
