We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Boobs are out for the taking
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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