I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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