you guys were way drunker than both of me
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
