Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
