Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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