Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Randomize
