Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
