Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
