I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Every concussion has its silver lining
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
