I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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