The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
