Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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