so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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