We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
