I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
