Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
