I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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