He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
