I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
