i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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