I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
