Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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