So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
she pinky promised me she was 18
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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