hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
