I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
