I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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