People with herpes should wear stickers.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
