Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
