there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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