I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
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